I've resolved to go to Russia. I don't want to, cause there's very little that I hate more than cold weather, but I have to. I won't forgive myself if I let Maria die. Lets see... I should probably get suited up for battle. Just in case. You know what I want, a diamond sword.
"Yo Mike!"
"Yes?"
"I want a diamond sword. Completely indestructible, crystal clear, and priceless. Oh and a built-in instant language translator that I can turn on and off at will. Can I have it like that?"
"You got it like that."
Damn this thing is amazing. Now I gotta learn how to use it. SIKE! Training's for wimps. I bought a leather duster and got my hair did. Now I've got dreadlocks. To Russia!
The flight was horrible. I didn't have alot of money left over and I wanted to avoid stealing anything so I bought the cheapest seats they had. I was in between a fat redneck and a his sister. Now I have no idea what they would be doing on a plane to Russia, but it's not my place to ask those types of questions. All I know is that the brother kept telling me how much he really loved "colored folk" and his sister kept trying to molest me. When we touched down in Moscow I ran out of the plane. I went to the lady at the desk.
"Excuse me, have you seen a group of people here a few days ago? Two guys and two girls?One guy has a glowing red eye, and this weird sort of aura of evilness, and one of the girls looks fucked up at all times."
"Yes, as a matter of fact I have. But I have no reason to tell you anything about them."
"Please. They're my friends and the one with the red eye is possessed with an evil spirit that can be defeated by the fucked up one so he's going to figure out a way to kill her if I don't stop him soon...please?"
"I actually don't know anything. I was just fucking with you."
"You know, you remind me of someone I know..."
Shit. This is not getting better. I really hope Maria's okay. Lemme text Stewart again.
"Stewart. Call me. This is important."
Two seconds later he texts back. Told you, he can't resist texts.
"Me no talkee."
"Ok, let's make a deal. You hand over the girl and I'll take her and you won't see me again. I'm really tired of this cold weather already, and I do not have the patience to play "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" with you. She can't defeat your demon if she's not around."
"Haha. NO."
"Alright, Stewart. When I do find you, just know that I didn't wanna have to do what I'm gonna do. And tell Ser he's still a pansy and he made a really bad decision fucking with me."
Well. I really don't have any clue how I would find them in a place as gigantic as Russia... With no way of tracking them. While they're in hiding. Shit. Wait... Maybe Ill just follow the blood trail. Stewart and Ser have a bad habit of killing people. But first that has to happen. So I guess I just wait for some murder to come on the news. I could really use some help right now. And a big five pound block of chocolate. But especially some help.
Dr. Orange
3 comments:
UMMMMMMMM just putting that out there but the plan to go north was made in stewarts safehouse so the chick would have no clue about that ....... this has to be rewritten.
The Russian
Also, you and I can't talk, you have to go on your own to find us. There is no communicado from me and the outside world. Also, I wouldn't inform you that I killed her yet. And if I did it would be a nonchalant thing like "oh, her, she's dead."
Haha. We comment more on our own stuff than anyone else does. This is sad.
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