So... Where were we? Oh yeah. The Russian mafia has a group of people with guns pointed at us.
Random Russian Mobster - "Hasta la vista, baby!"
Why did that random guy say that? That's Spanish. Oh well. Had they not given me that extra split second, perhaps they would have got us. But they didn't. They fired and I grabbed Valentina just in time to save us from the bullets. We went phantom, They fired all their bullets, and then it was our turn. Val was mad as hell. She broke bones and ripped flesh and stuff. I just kinda... killed them. Quick and painless. Well, relatively quick at least. Either way, before long they were all dead. Valentina decided she was going to pay the Godfather another visit...
We went to the Godfather's place clearing a path. Everyone who shot at us died. Everyone who ran lived. Simple as that. When we got to his room, there was a guy sitting in his seat with a very pale look on his face.
"Surprised to see us? Jackass."
Valentina threw a huge pile of heads connected by a rope at his feet.
"That's what happens when you fuck with us. Where's the Godfather?"
He didn't say anything.
"Hey, the lady's talking to you punk."
I pulled out my sword and held it to his throat. He still didn't say anything. And he didn't move. And he beeped.
"Shit."
BOOOOOM!
Ok. So that was painful. Me and Valentina are just sitting there looking at each other while our bodies slowly regenerate. We couldn't help it, our eyelids hadn't grown back yet. Finally after a couple minutes my mouth is there.
"Last one to heal is a rotten egg!"
She can't talk yet, but I'm pretty sure she would have laughed. Fast Forward. >>
It's the night of the full moon. We're at the Bolshoi Theater. Macbeth is about to play. Dracula shows up.
"Good evening to you two."
"Wuzup?"
"Not much."
"So why did you ask us here?"
"To enjoy a night of theatre, and to get help with something I have been trying to do for a long time..."
"Which is...?"
"I wan't you to help me get even with the devil. We are going to battle the legions of hell, and we are going to win."
He looked me deep in the eye when he said this. I was just waiting for him to crack a smile, but he never did. Was he being serious? That's not an everyday thing.
"You're serious about all this?"
"Deadly."
"Val?"
"It's up to you..."
I thought for the moment. Defeating the devil would be quite a feat...
"Sure. Why not?"
"I am glad to have you by my side. On our honor, and on our manhoods, we must promise a truce until this goal is accomplished. Afterwards we can decide whether or not to be friends or enemies."
"Agreed."
We shake hands. Then he kisses Valentina on the cheek. That man is a pimp.
"Well young ones. I have to revamp my army. You all did a good job of clearing my followers out. I will meet you at your house promptly at 7 o'clock."
And with that, he drops down into the audience below us and gives the superstitious yet another example of just how cursed the play Macbeth really is. I look at Valentina.
"Lets go home and pack. And then we need to get some rest. We've got a battle ahead of us."
Dr. Orange
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