Lock Up. A Prequel in the Works.

A shadowy figure stood outside the gates of heaven. It would please me to say, for dramatic effect, that it was dark. However, heaven does not have a night time hour, but all the angels were asleep.

The shadowy figure walked up to the gate and grabbed two bars, yelling to be let in. He finally gave up and sat down. There was a creak and one side of the gates opened slightly. The shadowy figure jumped up in excitement, and started in the crack as he was stopped by a hand. An angel emerged. He was smiling.

"Serras, how have you been?" The angel asked, closing the gate behind him.

"Not so great, I want back in there.. Why are you answering the gate?" Serras said.

"We will have a guy for it soon enough. I hope... Anyway, you can't get back in, Michael will kill you."

"No, can't you talk to him, you're like his brother, the other of the first two angels, come on Gabriel, please?"

"I'm sorry, but I have tried. You know Michael, once he gets angry it blows up into rage, and he never lets anything go."

"Fuck."

"Indeed."

They both sat down against the gates, looking straight ahead into the nothingness that lie beyond.

"Well, where else can I go?"

"Hell kicked you out?"

"Well, I left with an understanding that I wasn't supposed to come back."

"Did you try Olympus?"

"Yeah, that worked out for a little while, but they got tired of me."

"Asguard?"

"Played with Thor's Hammer..."

"Hades?"

"Gloom and doom."

"Try earth. I would allow you to go counsel with God but he is busy making city plans for the 1800's on earth. He is getting very specific with them. He has big plans for you though Serras. I don't think he will allow you to slide back into heaven."

"But why not? I can fulfill anything in heaven just as easily as I can on earth."

"No. He wants his story to run perfectly. He has this all planned out. You will serve him well."

"Well shit, I guess I should go then."

"I guess you should."

Gabriel opened up the gate and went back into it, leaving Serras alone. He took one last look at the gates and then snapped his fingers and was on earth.

As the years went by he decided to become a thorn in God's side. He would wipe out whole villages with the blink of an eye and started using them to make his powers grow. His powers expanded until he was more powerful than all but two of the angels. He was on level with Michael and Gabriel, but he wanted more.

He found a small village one sunday morning, somewhere in what is now considered Europe, near Italy. Everyone in the village was in church. He walked up to the church doors and opened them.

There was Michael, standing with wings spread out, flaming sword in one hand, and the other was free. He leapt forward and grabbed Serras by the neck. Serras was still nothing but shadow so he quickly maneuvered his arm into a sword and took it to Michael's throat. He held the tip at Michael, then he used his other arm and stabbed Michael's chest. Michael took flight, staggering back a few feet.

Michael extinguished his sword as Serras was getting up off the ground, then charged towards Serras and stabbed him through the somach. If shadow could show surprise, his face would be lit up with the emotion. There was a gagging sound from Serras then Michael lit his sword and caused a large explosion. Serras flew off over the horizon, while Michael flew backwards into the ground.

Serras landed in what is now London. There were a few small villages there, he killed everyone and hid, knowing Michael would be upon him soon. His two arm blades re-emerged and he was waiting for Michael to land.

Michael flew over looking for Serras then started to land. Luckily his back was to Serras, who flew from his hiding spot and slashed off both of Michael's wings. Michael turned and got one of the blades in his side, causing him to drop his sword. He grabbed Serras's head and screamed to the skies.

Serras was paralyzed and lay on the ground. Michael picked his sword back up and drew a large box around Serras.

Serras was free to move again. He ran over to the edge of the box that Michael had drawn and could not cross it. He burst into a shadowy mist and still could not leave the bounds of the box.

A voice from the heavens came down and said "Serras, I was willing to let you roam the earth and happen into your fate as you should, but it seems that you would not be content unless you were killing off my people, changing my future, and yours as well. You will be trapped inside this area of earth for the rest of your life. You will become weaker as time goes by and eventually you will die."

Gabriel then descended from the heavens, wrapped his arm around Michael and started pulling him back up.

"Only one can set you free. He will lead you to your great destiny. You have sealed your fate. Fear not though, you will be out soon." Gabriel screamed down to Serras as he was ascending with an unconscious Michael.

Serras could barely make it out but Michael's wings were growing back slowly. He sat down in his box and began to think.

Okay

So it's been a long time since I posted anything other than part of the story. First of all I want to apologize for how long my posts have been taking. I've been pretty busy.

Okay so I sort of want to talk about the playoffs. Yeah I mean football. Well the playoffs are over and my team, the Indianapolis Colts, are in the Super Bowl. The other team, the New Orleans Saints, beat out my second favorite, Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings. At least this way I'll have a team to root for  outright come Super Bowl Sunday. The reason I say all this is because after that football will be over, at least till next year. This is something I've been trying to cope with for months, now. I'm not ready for it to be over. *tear*

But seriously, after it's done all my time will be devoted to stuff like roaming the internet for random pictures and videos and things like that, and I suppose this blog will get a lot of random updates come that time. Anyway, it's been nice chatting, but I'm out.

-The Knight

White Hot Plasma, Part 70

Harx and I made our way south, back toward Birmingham. I could have flown there myself much faster, but I enjoyed being with Harx and the slowness of our travel. Everything had been happening so fast lately, it was almost impossible to catch my breath, but now things seemed to be slowing down, almost getting back to normal. At last I'd have time to mourn Adrienne's death, to figure things out with my friends, and perhaps try to fix Birmingham back to the way it was. Turns out, though, that I wouldn't be able to do any of these things. Just as I was flying over the coast of South Carolina a dark figure flew right under me. At first I thought it was just a shadow, but I saw it again, flying this time in the opposite direction, directly over my head--it was Stewart.


I pulled down and landed. I dismounted and let Harx hunt. He’d come back if I needed him. Stewart landed next to me in a shroud of shadow, which soon left him.

“Hello, Stewart,” I said. I still wasn’t sure where we stood with one another. I wanted things to be like they were—just the two of us, joking around and talking about girls. Now everything was so damn complicated.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” he said.

“Not much, brah,” I said. Things were starting to feel more normal. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.”

“What for?” I asked.

“It’s a long story, but I need you to come back with me.”

“I don’t know, Stewart. I don’t know how I feel about all your… endeavors.”

“It’s still me, man. Here—I’ve got an idea. I’ve heard how much stronger you’ve become, and I’ve gotten a lot stronger, too. Let’s fight—as friends—and maybe you’ll see you can still trust me.”

“I’m not sure that makes sense, bud, but okay.” I drew my swords.

Stewart was again shrouded in darkness, which became thick black armor. I knew I was more powerful physically, but Ser gave Stewart powers that went far beyond brute strength. For one thing—he could regenerate. That was something I could not do. And besides, his regenerative powers were stronger than ever now, to the point where it was almost instantaneous. I didn’t have my spear, but I wasn’t sure I’d need it. Already I was clad in nine tenths of Hercules’ armor. Huge, black claws formed over Stewart’s hands, and he lunged. He was fast, but I was faster. I sidestepped his initial attack and turned, ready to dodge another. This went on for a while, but soon Stewart stopped.

“You’re not going to fight?” he asked.

“I’ll get there soon enough. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He only laughed. Then he seemed to flex. The armor grew, and even though he seemed bulkier he got faster—a lot faster. Dodging was no longer an option—our speeds were matched and sweat was starting to break over my eyes. I threw an attack from one of his claws and this time I went to it, blocking with a blade of my own. Then something happened that I hadn’t been expecting—Stewart grew four extra arms, all with claws of their own. This new, six armed Stewart attacked at full speed. I was able to block the bulk of the attacks with my swords, but more than a few hit home on my armor—but it held. His claws bounced harmlessly from the armor, but even so I felt their force transferred through, bruising my already hurt frame. The fight with Rakasha had hurt me, weakened me significantly, and Stewart was taking full advantage. I’d have to step up my game. I brought my left hand down hard, pinning everything on his right side. My right sword came down in a flash, severing all three arms from his body. They were starting to grow back, but I kicked out and he flew away, colliding with a cliff, which collapsed on him. When he started to crawl out I pointed my sword at his head.

“No!” he said.

“Oh, yes,” I said. And white hot plasma shot out of my sword and landed on his armored face. It burned through the armor and through his skin, which seemed to regenerate as fast as it burned. It was an odd sight.

“Not cool, man.”

“I know. I just had to do it.” He stood up, his arms back to the normal two, rather than six.


“This isn’t going anywhere,” he said.

“Yeah I’m getting pretty bored—I’m ready to go when you are.”

“Alright—we’re off.”

I called Harx, but then something occurred to me. “Wait, Stewart. Where are we going?”


-The Knight

How to write a succesful Hip-Hop song

Step 1: Make a beat. It doesn't have to be a good beat, just has to have some sort of rhythm.

Step 2: Make two sentences. Both of these sentences should be short, lacking any real nouns and it is best if they don't make sense.

Step 3: Repeat at least one word in those two sentences rapidly to the beat, or faster than the beat.

Step 4: Repeat this whole process, add in a few phrases and words that don't make sense. Mentioning drugs, alcohol, college, and prostitutes usually helps the popularity of a song.

DAMMIT ZAC !!! FINISH !!! LIKE NOW !!! Part 69

That's what she said. Wait... no... what?


Anyway, I figure it's about time to go...


"Come on Val."


I grab her by the hand and transport back to Birmingham.


"This is pretty bad. Oh well. Let's go somewhere else. How about... San Diego. I haven't actually been there, but my sources say that its the most beautiful place on Earth."


"Sounds fine. It will be a good break from all the fighting."


When we get there its just as beautiful as I had thought. Then I remember just how much money we don't have.


"Hey, how about we just check in like nothings wrong and get some sleep today. when night falls, you can go find a DJ gig and I can try to find some kind of job. Then we can actually pay later."


"Alright, Val."


That night, We got up and went job hunting. Took a couple hours, but I finally tracked down a real nice paying DJ gig. I was worried about Val though. Not for her safety. Just for what kind of job she would pull. To tell the truth, we've been so busy running around and fighting that I don' really know much about her personally. I don't know what she can do professionally. Oh well. To the beach. I told her to meet me at the beach.


After a few minutes she showed up.


"Find anything you liked?"


"Nah. But I'm a cashier at a convenience store now. What about you? Did you find something?"


"Yeah. Party at around 10 tomorrow night. Some new place called 'The Cage'. They're paying good money so I'm doing it."


"Alright, Sounds good."


"Hold on, Val. I don't really know much about you to tell the truth. What was it you were trying to become back when you were young. What is it that you really enjoyed doing?"


"Gymnastics. I was good, too."


"Oh really?"


Thats how the conversation started. After a while we headed back to the hotel room and went to sleep.


11 the next night. This party is crazy. I'm keeping everybody hype and they are loving it. I'm loving it. I miss this. I've just not had time. Maybe I can get back to this. Maybe I can get away from the fighting now. I really hope so...


Just when I'm getting that warm feeling, everything goes black. All the power in the room goes out. Luckily, everyone in the crowd has glow sticks, so they can see enough not to panic. Then I hear a loud clang, and before I know it a gas fills the place. The last thing I notice before I go unconscious is the feeling that the whole place was being picked up...


When I get up. I look around. I'm the first to come to. I stumble through the bodies of the poor people who only came to party and make my way towards the door. It's locked. No problem. I brake it open and notice steel bars and sky instead of a parking lot like it should be. Shit. What is this?


Dr. Orange

Apparently if you eat a twix all women become complete morons... Part 68

I stood up. 

"Ser, if I ever write a story about this, I'm not going to use a sentence like 'I stood up,' instead I'll say something like 'I launched into the air.'" 

Of course you will.

"I don't understand why you have to be so sarcastic."
 
"I don't understand why you are so fucked up..." War commented, drawing attention back to him.

War seemed aggitated and went ahead and started the fight. 

"That's really not fair, jumping into a fight when the other person isn't really ready," I said, jumping backwards, throwing three portals in front of me to random crowded areas on Earth. He pulled out his two guns and shot in my direction hitting people in all three of these areas and one came in and hit my shielded left arm. 

"Yeah, but you kind of initiated it by 'leaping into the air,'" he retorted.

"Um, it was launched."

I didn't like the shield movement so I decided to change it to what the right arm was. I was now bulked up on my shoulders and pectoral muscles, and hunched over with two red glowing eyes and massive long finger-claws, and arms that have long curved spikes going back up towards me growing in size as they got towards the shoulders. 

A few seconds later Death teleported out of the room again. I figured out he had to leave everytime someone died. God that's a bitch. 

War finished emptying each clip, the bullets didn't go through my armoring. He pulled out the swords frim his waist. He came at me slicing, I was just blocking for a while with my claws, and I saw the perfect timing to just go ahead and get his heart. 

Death popped back into the room right as I was going to get War's heart. I got slightly distracted and War chopped off my right arm as I was going for his heart. 

Fortunately with all this new power, I just regenerated the arm like it was, grabbed the chopped off arm and waved it at War, scratching his face. Death burst out into laughter. I lunged in with both arms this time, using the left arm to block so I could get his heart. 

War looked surprised as he fell over, dead. I portaled the heart away. 

Death approached me. I made five portals around me and killed people in each one. I then shut them.

"Oh you prick," Death screamed, swinging his scythe and jamming it into the side of my head. The bottom of the psythe was touching the ground and my head was right next to the top of the pole. He then teleported away as I fell to the ground. 

Darkness. I've been seeing too much of this recently. There was nothing. Blackness. Pure nothing. I woke up. I stood up, which was difficult in and of itself with a scythe sticking out of my head. When I stood up I could only see a small area around me. I started walking until I saw Death return. I pulled a twix out of my pocket, because I needed a moment. When I did, I told death to sit down and talk to me. We talked a lot. I don't really remember much of what he said, it was all hazy. Everything started going fuzzy. Then the light started showing in.

"POKEMON BABIES," I screamed as I woke up. 

"Where in the fuck do pokemon babies come from?" Death said, standing over me, looking slightly perplexed. "Here, let me help you up." 

"No, its cool. I know that'd kill me, nice try though," I said standing up. 

"So, where do pokemon babies come from?" 

"Pokemon..."

"I know, where like anatomically? They don't have the appropriate orifices."

Pokemon can't have babies. They reproduce asexually.

"Don't start that, they would have to be budding or something which I never saw a pokemon do," 
 Death was exasperated.

"Um guys? Why are we talking about pokemon babies?"

"You screamed it when you woke up." 

"Ah, can we discuss this over food or something? I have a sudden urge for twix."

"Sure, lets fight later."

We portaled out to get some food and came back.

"So, how'd you kill those people without the scythe?"

"Touch 'em"
 
"Oh yeah," I was eating my twix. 

"I don't really like twix" 

"I usually don't, in fact I hate them, but I had a dream about it so, I kinda craved them. So the touching people things, what about when you..."

"When I what?"

"Masturbate?"

"I...never tried."

Oh, dude, it rocks.

"Um, I don't think that'd kill me."
 
"Why don't you try?"

Death shook his head, and walked around a corner in the stoney area, about twenty minutes later I walked around to check, making sure Hades was still sitting on the throne by going ahead and killing him. Took his heart and ate it. 

Walking around the corner we saw Death, lying on the floor, I materialized a couple of swords and cut his heart out and tossed it into a portal.

Hell of a way to die.

"Yeah, just like ever man on earth wants to go," I remarked, opening a portal and going back to hell to greet Grief. 
 
I walked in and hugged Mary.

"Everything been okay here?" I asked.

"Yeah, no one caused any trouble," Mary said smiling.

"Grief?"

"Exactly as she says my lord. I found the one you wanted."

"One? I asked you to find Ramsey and Adrienne."

"Well, Ramsey, I found, Adrienne was not with him."

"Shit... find out what you can about who killed her when you get a chance."

"Adrienne is dead?" Mary asked.

"I doubt Ramsey would have left her anywhere," I replied, "Where was he?"

"When I found him he was passed out on some ice," Grief replied.
 
"God dammit Ramsey, stop sleeping in the snow," I said. "Also, I need to meet with the other generals. Who is most qualified to run another realm for me?"

"My opinion, Horror. But you might want to send him with Fear." 

"Cryptic names you all have, okay, well send them to Hades to rule in my place. Mary, stay here and run things like they have been going, don't let the demons know I've been back, I still need to get the rest of them."

I sorted the rest out and then was off to find Ramsey.

As Flares Dwindle .. Part 67

I was awaken by an intense pain in my leg. The pain was so intense I could not open my eyes for several moments. I was surprised to see the old man stabbing my leg with his cane.

"We can get that looked at if you wish."
"Here?"
"Well, no. We'll take you out of here and treat you in our infirmary."
"... and my progress?"
"Well, that's the tricky thing. You will have to start over."
"Will everything change?"
"It might."
"In that case, mind giving me a hand?"
"That I cannot do."
"Always have to do everything myself, always."
"That is the normal course of things."


I took out everything I needed to fix myself. I was lucky the arrow pierced the leg and the arrowhead did not stop in my calf. Removing the armor was extremely painful but after some time it was finally off and I could work on my leg. 


I got up and started to cripple away from the old man. He was waving me off and the pain was slowly going away and the drugs, I took while bandaging my leg, were kicking in. 


The room I entered was completely dark. I couldn't see the exit. I could hardly see more than a meter in front of me. I took out a flare and threw it in front of me. It landed beside a 7 foot tall robot. Its presence surprised me. I didn't know what to do. It was inanimate. The metal was glistening in the light of the flare. The robot had no face, it looked like something an artist would use as a sketch model. 


I took a step towards it. Something clicked and where the robots face was an orb of blue lit up. The flare was going out but the light from the orb was filling the space between us. I was uneasy and took out a katana and two holsters with pistols which I strapped to my leg and side. 


I threw out several more flares around me and took another step. Something clicked again and the robot charged. I barely dodged the robot and jumped to my feet and attacked his back with the sword. The katana clanged against the robots metal exterior. I didn't see any noticeable damage on the robot. It spun and knocked the sword out of my hands. It landed somewhere beyond the flares. 


I didn't know how to fight it. It's armor seemed impenetrable and the dark made the fight that much more difficult. I figured I had to destroy the orb but the robot was extremely fast and agile. 


I took out another sword for defense and  removed one of the pistols from its holster. Using the sword to deflect punches from the robot I tried my best not to let it get the advantage but the flares were slowly dwindling and the area grew darker and darker. The robot's limbs slowly became almost like ghosts in the darkness and the concentration required to focus and fight was quickly draining my energy.


The last flare was going out and the robot lunged at me with one of the most aggressive and powerful attacks of the fight. I took a chance and dropped the sword and jumped at the robot into a roll. He was flying over just in time for the orb to be easily accessible. Time slowed, I aimed and took the shot. The orb exploded with a loud crack and light flooded the room.


I was catching my breath on the cold crystal floor when I caught glimpse of the numerous identical robots surrounding me. None of the orbs were glowing but I knew my time was limited. I only managed to hit two of the robots before they sprung to life. The robots charged me and were quickly approaching but I had just enough time to port to another part of the room. 


The robots were disoriented for a short time until they noticed me in the corner of the room. A loud crack filled the room and one of the robots dropped lifeless to the floor. I dropped the sniper and ported back into the action. The sword proved to be a sufficient defensive weapon and allowed me to go through the fight almost unharmed. 


As the fight continued the robots fought flawlessly. They were merely waiting for me to make a mistake. Their opportunity came when their double team tossed me into the air and I landed on my bad leg. I stumbled to the ground and one of the robots jumped at me. The fourth robot's lifeless chassis dropped to the floor with a dagger going through its blue orb. 


As I was getting another sword the last robot recovered from his fall and attacked before I was ready to defend myself. He managed to punch my sword wielding hand, breaking a finger or two. I dropped the sword and ported away from the robot. He must have expected the port and quickly followed appearing almost immediately after me from the portal. 


I was clutching my hand on the ground as the robot was flying at me and quickly pulled out my second pistol shooting the orb moments before the robot's hands made it to my throat. 


I struggled to get the heavy carcass off of me, holstered the gun and made my way to the exit.

The Things Dreams are Made of, Part 66

The terror in his eyes was short lived, mostly because I didn't give him much more time to think about it. My power was even larger now, larger than I thought possible, but the acquirement of the spear seemed to grant me much more control, as well. I lunged at him, stabbing out with the trident. He barely had time to dodge, but I'd been expecting that. I brought the blades sideways and sliced along his leg. He fell to the ground and clutched his wound, growling. But he wasn't done yet. He reached out with one terrible hand, but I swatted it away easily. Already he seemed on the ropes, for I was far to fast and too strong, but something happened then that I did not expect--the purple bastard's body fell to the ground, limp and lifeless.

"This can't be good," I said.

And then I felt the most pain I'd ever felt. It was like someone had broken open my skull with a tack hammer and was now blending the contents mixer. There was noise and darkness and then there was nothing at all.

After was seemed like a lifetime there came a flash of color to my left. What was it? There was darkness still. I couldn't see my hands in front of my face but perhaps it was because I had no hands. Was there even a floor beneath me? As I thought it it became so, but the ground below was not cold like the ice where I should have been. Instead it was the tile of my kitchen, back at home. I thought about how dark it was and then lights appeared, and sure enough I was back at home.

"Oh!" I cried. "It was all a dream!" But as I said it I knew it to be false. I looked down at my hands, at my whole body. It was just me. No armor. No bulked up muscles. I was exactly how I had been not too long ago. How I was supposed to be.

Then a man walked in who was taller than me but not much more muscular. He had a black jaw line beard and thin hair. I knew immediately that it was Rakasha.

"So here we are," he said. "Your mind is nothing like your uncle's."

"Don't you talk about my uncle, or about me," I said. Seeing him like this reminded me how much I hated him. He'd taken Adrienne from me, and who was I kidding? He'd taken everything from me.

"Oh, my. Quite the temper we have."

I felt so weak here. I wondered where we were. But just then something seemed to whip my legs out from under me and I felt hard on my face, shattering my nose. Then I got thrown into the fridge, which exploded on impact, sending old food everywhere. Everything in me felt broken, but it didn't stop there. I had no power here, and Rakasha had all the power in the world. He tossed me back and forth like a rag doll. I couldn't last much longer, not like this.

But then there was a light from the back of the room. There was the image of my uncle from the dream so long ago. How long? Years? Millennia? He leaned down to talk to my motionless frame.

“We are in your mind, Ramsey,” he said, but it was my voice which issued from his mouth. “You have all the power here.” And I knew it was true, but I wasn’t sure how to conjure it, how to use it. I felt so weak, so broken, and yet if this was true I should be able to just heal myself—and all my bones were fixed, my injuries cured. I stood, not as just me but as my fully powered self, though no armor adorned my flesh. He tried his mind tricks again, but to no avail.

“Learned a new trick, have we?” he said, though he looked nervous.

“Yeah,” I said. And with a small amount of concentration he exploded.

I awoke on the ice, my body sore and my nose bleeding badly. My trident was next to me. My whole body was covered in armor.

“This is not over,” a voice said in my ear. And I knew Rakasha had retreated, beaten, at least for now. But he was right, this wasn’t over, not even close. I took the swords from the tip of the spear and replaced them in the X on my back. I hung the spear head-up in there as well, and it extended up over my head awkwardly. That wouldn’t work. I called for Harx to come over and I stuck it in a slot on his armored saddle. I stroked his head and neck.

“What now?” I asked. He looked at me nervously, like he didn’t want to know. “Yeah, me either.” I said, and together we flew off into the sunset.

Cheddar, American, Pepper Jack, Swiss, Parmesan, Mozzarella,... Part 65

"All right, look ladies. No offense to you, you are probably the most beautiful women I've ever seen, but in order to keep up the whole good guy thing, I have to try to remain... relatively... chaste. However, I notice you have an Xbox 360 plugged up to that projector, so... How about some Modern Warfare 2?"


I like to think I'm pretty good at that game, but damn. They kicked my ass. Over and over again. We played that for at least 6 hours straight. My eyes were bloodshot by the time I finally snapped out of the little trance I was in.


"Um... what time is it?"


"It is sunrise."


"Damn. Maybe I can get a little bit of sleep before I have to go train."


I had just gotten in bed when there was a  knock on the door.


"Frasser Fraggin Frack Fruglin Fruzzen Fwuzers."


"He's speaking in tongues."


Anyway. I'm led out to a courtyard. There stands the Queen of the Amazons in all her glory. No words. No greeting. She just charges me and the fight begins. I'm still kinda against fighting the opposite sex no matter how strong or powerful or what kind of weapons they have. That's my excuse to why she kicked my ass and I'm sticking to it. The most I could do was guard myself. That alone took more strength than you could imagine.


After about 5 days time had passed (And I'm only guessing because I stopped paying attention to how many times the sun rose and set) she stopped.


"This lesson is over. I have someone else for you to meet."


"Who?"


"SHINKUU HADOUKEN!"


"AAAAAAUGH!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!?!"


I got back up after being blasted away. I turned my head to see Ryu from street fighter.


"You've got to be kidding me."


"You must learn to focus your spiritual energy. Yours is very strong. Once focused it can become a blast that will eradicate most foes in a single strike."


"...Okaaaaay...? So...?"


"Watch what I do and then repeat--"


"I already know what you do. I've played Street Fighter more than you can remember. And I've tried it over and over and it doesn't work."


"Did you? Did you say the words I say? You must pronounce them correctly you know."


"No... I didn't actually."


"Why the hell do you think I say them all the time?! I don't say it every time I shoot out a fireball for nothing! The words are the key. Make the motion and say the words and for some reason it happens."


"Ok. Hadouken!"


He and Wonderwoman just laughed their asses off.


"I can't believe he actually did it!"


I sat there looking stupid for a while.


"Okay okay. I'm done. Whew. But the real way is this. Imagine your most hated enemy. He is in front of you holding one of your best friends by the neck about to snap it off. Release your anger and your rage."


I tried it. I imagined Ser holding Maria by the neck. I guess old wounds never really do heal.  Anyway...


"Hadouken!"


A destructive wave of energy burst out of my hands and consumed everything in front of me. Which just so happened to be Wonderwoman and the east wing of her palace.


"Oh shit are you... Oh."


She blocked with those weird bracelets of hers. I always wondered how something that small could block a beam on energy that was bigger than her body but oh well. Anyway, the next thing I know, I get hit in the back of the head.


When I come to, I'm in a dark cold cave. And there's a giant T Rex looking at me.


"Hadouken!"


"Dammit, Zac! Calm the hell down! I was saving that!"


I turned around to see a tall dark figure. As Dark as the Knight (You see it's a play on words. Cause it was Batman, but they call him the Dark Knight, so I spelled it with a "K"... I'm sorry, I couldn't resist...).


"You need to be able to not be seen. To strike from the shadows. To be a ninja."


"Before we begin, I always wondered... You know how you always disappear when you're talking to someone and they turn around? Has anyone ever actually turned fast enough to see you running away?"


"I'm not answering that question."


"Ok, Fine."


I'm not gonna go into the details of what happened with him because, well, he told me he'd kick my ass if I did. And Batman keeps his word. I'm sure he has a "Kick-Zac's-Ass" gadget somewhere in his utility belt. But I have reached the pinnacle of badassness, cause I'm a ninja.


All of a sudden I felt something pulling at me. My body just started sliding towards a cliff in the Batcave. I can't talk. Can't move a muscle. I plunge into the deep...


"Zac. Zaaaac. Zac! Finally, you're awake."


Val was kneeling over me.


"What the hell happened? And why aren't you dead?"


"Um... I'm gonna dismiss that last question. But you were out for over 24 hours. We decided to go to sleep in that cave by the river. Then you got up and walked out and started hacking and things. A few hours after that, you started shouting 'Hadouken! Shoryuken!' and you burned down half the rain forest."


"So I actually was learning something..."


"Yeah, Micheal introduced himself while you were in your trance and explained everything. He's revamping your powers. Now your strength is on par with Juggernaut, Hulk, Superman, etc. And you can teleport between different places not only on earth but any other realm as well. And you can blast people with you spirit energy or something (which I think is really cheesy but oh well, I'm a vampire who is in love with you so who am I to talk)."


"Ah... Well at least our transportation issues are worked out."


 "Yeah, luckily nobody important got hurt. But you did kill a Wherewolf. Then you started chanting 'I'm the Bat' and climbing into the trees and disappearing in one place and popping up in the other. In short, weird."


"Yeah, especially how you spelled were Wolf just now."


Dr. Orange

Where are the horses? Part 64

I made sure Mary had everything under control in Hell. As I was leaving I called General Grief to me to straighten out the last few details. 

"Grief, I need you to do some things for me," I said. 

"Anything for you master," he replied, bending his head in a small bow.

"First, I need you to prepare a room for two. Ramsey and Adrienne, he is going to be taking the place of Famine. Please prepare the room to whatever you may be their liking, and then track him down. I need you to find him and have him followed until I get back. Can you do that?" 

"Yes sir."

"Second, if anyone lays a hand, claw, foot or anything else on Mary I'll torture them, kill them, bring them back from the void, torture and kill them again. I will not tolerate anything while I'm gone. You are to protect her at all costs and make sure the rest of the demons and minions stay in line. She is their queen and she damn well better be respected."

"Think nothing of it master, I swear she will be safe."

I took his promise and opened up a portal to Hades. I waved goodbye to Mary who was in her throne talking to a demon about some internal business. I nodded to Grief and hopped through the portal. 

When I got there, some figure that I assumed was Hades was sitting in a throne and four mean surrounded him. The one standing right next to his throne on the left was wearing a black cloak. He had a scythe and I only assumed he was Death. 

The man standing to the right of him was dressed in a red cloak, he had short white hair and two large hand guns, one on each side. He had two broad swords strapped next to each holster, and two ninja katanas strapped to his back in an 'X' shape. War.


The man on the left sitting down in front of the throne was dressed in tannish pale robes, He didn't have his arms out, but rather inside his arms, so I didn't know exactly what he looked like, his robes concealed everything. I thought he may be Pestilence.

The fourth man was robed in grey. The robes hung out off of his body so I could not tell how large he was. He looked kind of ragged, and I had to think he was Famine.

"He sends a kid? We threaten his reign and he sends a kid?" Hades seemed kind of insulted.

Death lept up, "I have to go for a minute, sorry."

Then he disappeared. 

"Um... where'd he go?" I asked.

He is death. He has to kill people. 

"Ah, fair point." 

"Well, you have come to kill us," said Pestilence, "So we will have to kill you first." He grinned and jumped up. His arms came out of his robes and I saw needles inside his robes as they fell around him. 

I ripped my shirt off. 

Why do you rip off your shirt when you are just going to armor up?

"First rule of shirt ripping, don't talk about shirt ripping."

Oh great, a fight club joke. that's awesome.

"Sarcasm duly noted Ser. That sound doesn't fit you buddy."

"Shut up! Lets just fight." Pestilence screamed.

Fuck armor right now, I can do this. I materialized two swords and ran at him. I jumped as he shot out needles from his sleeves. I dodged the needles in the air, just in time, but I lost my course and slashed out stabbing him with one of the blades and falling over when I landed. I skidded to a halt and rose back up. 

Death popped back up next to the throne and stood. Watching. 

Luckily my stab had Pestilence on the ground so I flipped over and stabbed him with the other one, pulling out the first blade and cutting off his head. I armored my left arm and jammed it in the wound on his neck, grabbed his heart and pulled it out. I portaled it to a room I had set up previously to hold them after I obtained the hearts. 

Famine jumped up and shot his robes out at me,  catching my armored arm. I twisted and struggled and I couldn't get free, I jumped in the air and wrapped famine's robe around his neck. I covered my right arm in armor and made a claw and grabbed the wall, pulling famine up with his own robe by his neck. 

I shot a small stringy tentacle down the robe and chopped off his head with a smooth motion. I grabbed his heart the same way and tossed it back in the portal. 

War stepped forward. I was about to fight War. I armored up. I set large curved spikes coming out the outside of my right arm, I made more and more material appear, looking as muscles layered on top of me, moving smoothly, I bulked up as much as possible in the chest so I coult try and avoid any major injuries, and then I concentrated, I shot electricity around me and pumped myself up, I ran fire around as well. My left arm grew wider and the length of it became a three foot wide shield. I jammed it into the ground, stretching my back muscles and rose up with both eyes glowing red.

i cant post tonight

I'm sorry. I can't write the story tonight, you'll have it tomorrow.

A Trip of Discovery .... Part 63

So yea I have been patiently waiting for everybody to post but that took too long and I picked up a copy of Modern Warfare 2. Partly due to Zac liking it as much as he did and party to not having bought Modern Warfare. The first playthough on regular difficulty lasted a mere 7 hours but my current attempt at beating the game on Veteran is significantly more difficult and taking a ton of time, not to mention the time spent playing multiplayer and the spec ops missions. Zac and I will compare our progress in a few days. I wonder if he started to play on veteran ...


I don't know how much time has passed. I stood up and the numbness of my leg brought me back down. I waited until the blood started to sufficiently circulate in my leg and stood up for another attempt at the maze.


It was starting to get dark and the lack of light made tracking through the maze impossible. I removed several flares and glow sticks and made my way around the maze.


I made it back to the entrance 2 times since the sun went down and now the sun was coming back up.


As the sun rose on to fill the room with light, I grew tired. The maze has strained me mentally as well as physically. As I continued in my attempt to find a place to stop whether it be back at the entrance or at the end, I tripped on on of the flares I dropped during the night, as I fell against the wall of the maze I tried to catch my self and planted my hands on the crystal panel. To my surprise I continued falling. The panel moved with me. All this time making my way through the maze I did not try to move the panels only shoot at them; making my way through the maze, I found that all the panels were movable and made my way to the end that I thought was the exit. At the end of the maze I found a similar door as at the entrance. This discovery did not make me happy until I opened the door into a different room.


The discovery of a new room made me excited but the sight made me cringe. The room looked like an obstacle course, but much more complex. There was grass on the walls and holes in the walls, It looked like something out of a Tomb Raider game. The holes in the walls confused me and reminded me of the Serious Sam games until I began walking into the room and an a set of 3 arrows flew right in front of me. Luckily I did not step far enough for them to hit me but the image of my body with an arrow in my eye socket, stomach, and knee did not raise my spirits.


I decided the current progress was far enough and fell asleep in the door way.


My short nap gave me enough energy and clear mindedness to continue until night fall. I slowly made my way through the course using a riot shield to block the arrows but almost died when a stone dropped less than a meter in front of me. After I made it through maybe a quarter of the course the arrows decided to not just fly from the right side of the room but from all over the place. The ominous holes in the floor became that much deadly.


The course tested my puzzle solving abilities and my ability to create objects with the jacket. One of the notable items of the day was definitely the hamster ball shield. It got me through a large chunk of the course until I had ditch it due to its inability to successfully maneuver uphill. I also decided to test some plate armor. The plate was another success and protected me from a several hits until the arrow somehow managed to find its way into my calf. I cut off the arrow as best as I could and left it in my leg to take care of later. I limped to the end of the course and I think got a concussion from the unfortunate fall I had when going down the stairs from the elevated course to the door at the end of the room. The fall proved too much and I passed out at the doors to the exit with the arrow still in my calf and my plate armor mostly still on.

So long as I'm here, no furniture shall be left unbroken.

I picked up Darksiders this morning, and I have to say I'm very pleased with it so far. I haven't gotten really deep into it yet, but thats alright, the gameplay is kind of like an easier God of War and the storyline is completely fucking awesome. 

The currency in this game is souls. Different souls also give you wrath (they are enraging souls...) and others give you health. You play as War who went down when he thought he was summoned to kick some ass and start the apocalypse, but he was too early and the ass kicking had begun without him. He was blamed for this mistake and decides to figure out who did it, rather than get the death penalty. Fun stuff. The cinematics are pretty awesome and the different back story as to Heaven and Hell is really cool. I like the way it is designed, and I will read the comic I got for pre-ordering it later and let you know how that is. It's a pretty thick comic.

When you kill an enemy they usually drop souls. This is understandable as the remaining demons and angelic beings are collecting souls for themselves. However, when you destroy furniture or cars or any other part of the destructable environment, you also get souls. A table, when beaten to death by your sword, gives you three souls. Yay. Table haters.

Speaking of souls as currency, I got Demon's Souls about a week ago, and I was kicking ass pretty well until I get to the seventh boss, and I'm pretty much stuck on all levels. I'll get through it though, its a fun game and if you haven't already read enough about it or if you are unsure to spend the 60 bucks on it, I say go for it, it is well worth your money, the graphics are beautiful and the story is pretty solid, and the time reward for having it is incredible. There are multiple playthroughs, and you have an online experience like i've never...well, experienced before in a game.


Anyway, thats all I got, see ya later.