Cheddar, American, Pepper Jack, Swiss, Parmesan, Mozzarella,... Part 65

"All right, look ladies. No offense to you, you are probably the most beautiful women I've ever seen, but in order to keep up the whole good guy thing, I have to try to remain... relatively... chaste. However, I notice you have an Xbox 360 plugged up to that projector, so... How about some Modern Warfare 2?"


I like to think I'm pretty good at that game, but damn. They kicked my ass. Over and over again. We played that for at least 6 hours straight. My eyes were bloodshot by the time I finally snapped out of the little trance I was in.


"Um... what time is it?"


"It is sunrise."


"Damn. Maybe I can get a little bit of sleep before I have to go train."


I had just gotten in bed when there was a  knock on the door.


"Frasser Fraggin Frack Fruglin Fruzzen Fwuzers."


"He's speaking in tongues."


Anyway. I'm led out to a courtyard. There stands the Queen of the Amazons in all her glory. No words. No greeting. She just charges me and the fight begins. I'm still kinda against fighting the opposite sex no matter how strong or powerful or what kind of weapons they have. That's my excuse to why she kicked my ass and I'm sticking to it. The most I could do was guard myself. That alone took more strength than you could imagine.


After about 5 days time had passed (And I'm only guessing because I stopped paying attention to how many times the sun rose and set) she stopped.


"This lesson is over. I have someone else for you to meet."


"Who?"


"SHINKUU HADOUKEN!"


"AAAAAAUGH!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!?!"


I got back up after being blasted away. I turned my head to see Ryu from street fighter.


"You've got to be kidding me."


"You must learn to focus your spiritual energy. Yours is very strong. Once focused it can become a blast that will eradicate most foes in a single strike."


"...Okaaaaay...? So...?"


"Watch what I do and then repeat--"


"I already know what you do. I've played Street Fighter more than you can remember. And I've tried it over and over and it doesn't work."


"Did you? Did you say the words I say? You must pronounce them correctly you know."


"No... I didn't actually."


"Why the hell do you think I say them all the time?! I don't say it every time I shoot out a fireball for nothing! The words are the key. Make the motion and say the words and for some reason it happens."


"Ok. Hadouken!"


He and Wonderwoman just laughed their asses off.


"I can't believe he actually did it!"


I sat there looking stupid for a while.


"Okay okay. I'm done. Whew. But the real way is this. Imagine your most hated enemy. He is in front of you holding one of your best friends by the neck about to snap it off. Release your anger and your rage."


I tried it. I imagined Ser holding Maria by the neck. I guess old wounds never really do heal.  Anyway...


"Hadouken!"


A destructive wave of energy burst out of my hands and consumed everything in front of me. Which just so happened to be Wonderwoman and the east wing of her palace.


"Oh shit are you... Oh."


She blocked with those weird bracelets of hers. I always wondered how something that small could block a beam on energy that was bigger than her body but oh well. Anyway, the next thing I know, I get hit in the back of the head.


When I come to, I'm in a dark cold cave. And there's a giant T Rex looking at me.


"Hadouken!"


"Dammit, Zac! Calm the hell down! I was saving that!"


I turned around to see a tall dark figure. As Dark as the Knight (You see it's a play on words. Cause it was Batman, but they call him the Dark Knight, so I spelled it with a "K"... I'm sorry, I couldn't resist...).


"You need to be able to not be seen. To strike from the shadows. To be a ninja."


"Before we begin, I always wondered... You know how you always disappear when you're talking to someone and they turn around? Has anyone ever actually turned fast enough to see you running away?"


"I'm not answering that question."


"Ok, Fine."


I'm not gonna go into the details of what happened with him because, well, he told me he'd kick my ass if I did. And Batman keeps his word. I'm sure he has a "Kick-Zac's-Ass" gadget somewhere in his utility belt. But I have reached the pinnacle of badassness, cause I'm a ninja.


All of a sudden I felt something pulling at me. My body just started sliding towards a cliff in the Batcave. I can't talk. Can't move a muscle. I plunge into the deep...


"Zac. Zaaaac. Zac! Finally, you're awake."


Val was kneeling over me.


"What the hell happened? And why aren't you dead?"


"Um... I'm gonna dismiss that last question. But you were out for over 24 hours. We decided to go to sleep in that cave by the river. Then you got up and walked out and started hacking and things. A few hours after that, you started shouting 'Hadouken! Shoryuken!' and you burned down half the rain forest."


"So I actually was learning something..."


"Yeah, Micheal introduced himself while you were in your trance and explained everything. He's revamping your powers. Now your strength is on par with Juggernaut, Hulk, Superman, etc. And you can teleport between different places not only on earth but any other realm as well. And you can blast people with you spirit energy or something (which I think is really cheesy but oh well, I'm a vampire who is in love with you so who am I to talk)."


"Ah... Well at least our transportation issues are worked out."


 "Yeah, luckily nobody important got hurt. But you did kill a Wherewolf. Then you started chanting 'I'm the Bat' and climbing into the trees and disappearing in one place and popping up in the other. In short, weird."


"Yeah, especially how you spelled were Wolf just now."


Dr. Orange