I know I'm sorry, MAGIC!!!!!!!!

I will have a post soon, on the story that is. Sorry.


Anyway, here are some magic cards I'd like to see.

Pink Paladin

Creature - Knight

All male creatures on field cannot attack or block Pink Paladin. 3/3

Last Stand

Enchant Player

Once enchanted player loses all life points then that player gains an extra 10 life points.

Rape

Enchant Creature

Enchanted Creature gets raped (-3/-3 counter placed onto enchanted creature) every turn unless the creature's control pays a mana cost 10. 

Edward Cullen

Creature - Pussy

Edward Cullen cannot attack or block. Edward Cullen looks wistfully at Bella on the battlefield, and sparkles. 0/0 

Harry Potter

Creature - Wizard Pussy

Harry Potter cannot attack or block unless another pussy is on the field. 1/1

Darth Vader 

Creature - Dark Lord

Darth Vader can only attack once every other turn. Force Choke - If Darth Vader attacks the player can choose a creature to destroy on the defending players field before combat damage is calculated. Trample.10/10

Samuel L. Jackson

Creature - Badass Mother Fucker

The first player to quote Pulp Fiction when this card enters the battlefield wins the game. Trample. 100/100

Spiderman 

Enchant Pig

Enchanted Pig becomes known as SpiderPig, he does whatever a spiderpig does. 

Batman 

Creature - Bat….Man

As an extra cost to playing this creature, sacrifice Robin. Shroud. Trample. Indestructible (except by Bane). Is the god damn batman. 4/4

Robin 

Creature - DC Pussy

Gay. Rainbow Power - If Pink Paladin is in play, Robin gains +10/+10. 

Wolverine 

Creature - HydraStalker

Indestructible. Berserker (Every time Wolverine attacks -2/-2 counters are placed on defending creatures.).  4/4

Hulk 

Creature - Gamma Irradiated Pussy

Intimidate. 4/4

Superman 

Sorcery. 

You win the game if there is no kryptonite in play. You are also a douchebag. 

Kryptonite 

Enchantment

Flash. Kryptonite disables Superman effect. 

Adamantium Wall

Indestructible. Can block up to 5 attacking creatures. 2/12 "Something funny about hitting your head on indestructible walls."

Harry Dresden

Creature - Wizard

Every time Harry Dresden blocks attacking Creature, Harry Dresden gains the power and toughness of the attacking creature until end of turn. 2/2

Jelly Donut

Instant

Ask the opposing player if his donut shall have sprinkles, if they answer "no", deal 4 damage to that player. 

Day of Silence

Enchantment

All gay creatures on field are destroyed. Any new gay creatures coming into play have four -1/-1 counters placed on them.

Luke Skywalker 

Creature - Pussy with Lightsaber

Force (Allows Luke Skywalker to shoot a small hole in the Death Star without a targeting system). 1/1

Death Star

Artifact

Terribly Designed. Destroy up to 1 target lands for a mana cost of 3 and tap Death Star.