Bounce! Part 77

Me and Valentina walk through the portal to earth. Finally, back in San Diego. We find a nice big patch of land by the beach and wait for Gabriel who arrived shortly after.


"We'll take this. We've already got some pretty rough plans of how we want the place to look like and what will be inside."


Val handed him a piece of paper with some rough sketches and a list of things we wanted in the house.


"Giant Aqarium... Parking Garage... Swimming Pool and Jacuzzi... Hmmm. Sounds reasonable enough. A trampoline room? What does that even mean?"


"It'll actually take up three or four floors. Instead of a normal floor there needs to be a trampoline. Above that there needs to be little ledges sticking out one story up to jump off of. It'll be fun as hell. You're welcome to join in if you want."


"Ok... Um... How giant do you want this aquarium to be exactly?"


"Big enough for the Kraken. Oh and a Blue Whale. Those are awesome too."


Gabriel just stared at me in disbelief.


"Are you... serious?"


"Uhhhhhh, Yeah."


He muttered something under his breath and told us to close our eyes and turn around. After a few seconds of that, we turn back and there was the hugest most beautiful mansion either of us had ever seen.


"Thanks alot, Gabe."


"No Problem."


"By the way, what ever happened to Micheal? I haven't seen or talked to him in forever."


"Oh he's been in his chambers for a while. He's pissed at how Serras is parading around unpunished."


"Well tell him if he ever feels like it we could plan something together. And he's always welcome to come over. Speaking of that, one more thing. I wanna be a rich famous DJ. And as for the first car I want in my 366 parking spot garage, it needs to be an orange Lamborghini Diablo. I forgot what year they stop designing them, but thats the one I want."


He snapped his fingers. Well then. He's fast.


"There you go DJ ZacAttack. Anything else?"


"Nope. Thanks again, though. Let's hang out sometime. I'll throw a party or something."


"Cool. I'll be there."


With that, he vanished into a portal leaving me and Val to explore our wondrous new mansion.


"Let's go test out the Trampoline Floor."


Dr. Orange

Superheroes

Man, Superheroes are sooooo cool. So I ask you, if you had to draft a team of superheroes to play football, who would you pick? That's eleven people, and if you can name positions, offensive and defensive. So I guess it's actually 22 people, though you can have repeats if you want.


Here's mine.


Offense:
QB-Superman
RB-Juggernaut
HB-Hulk
WR-Flash
WR-Captain Marvel
TE-Thor
C-Beast
RG-Ben Grimm (Thing)
RT-Colossus
LG-Thunderbird
LT-Steel (Man of Steel)


Defense:
RE-Beast
LE-Captain America
DT-Juggernaut
DT-Colossus
LOLB-Captain Marvel
MLB-Ironman
ROLB-Human Torch
CB-Flash
CB-Superman
FS-Martian Manhunter
SS-Nightcrawler


And just so you know, yes, these are the kinds of things that I think about.

A thought to you...

I applied to be a stand up comic on open mic night at our nearby comedy club. If you'd like, when we go buy those foam swords we can apply to that as well in person and do it one night together (at separate times but on the same night).

Hopefully we will have video of the fight with these between The Knight and myself.

http://www.amazon.com/Nerf-N-Force-Marauder-Long-Sword/dp/B00284C4SC/ref=pd_sim_t_1

http://www.amazon.com/Nerf-N-Force-Shadow-Thunder-Sword/dp/B001SEJ602/ref=pd_sim_t_3

http://www.amazon.com/Nerf-N-Force-Warlock-Axe-Yellow/dp/B002VEC86M/ref=pd_sim_t_5

A thought

I wish I had the skill set to be a stand up comedian. By that I mean I wish I was funny enough and personable enough, and, I guess, not so shy in front of crowds, which happens sometimes. I guess I'll have to figure something else out though. 

Hell Part 76

"God dammit." Ramsey said.

"Top," I started.

"Don't do it," he cut me off. 

"Okay, look, how about we go see God, he is who wants us to do this anyway."

"He wants you to do it," Zac said.

"No, he specified us four."

"Where's Alex?"

"We don't know yet. Come on, lets go talk to God."

Zach and Ramsey looked at me kind of funny, then I made a portal and hopped through it. I landed in Heaven. I hadn't been through here yet. It was nice though, paradise indeed. Ramsey and Zac popped through soon after me. We walked up to the gate where an angel told us we needed to keep our presence hidden. He guided us to a palace and then into a room where God was sitting. 

"Stewart, what the hell are you doing in here?" God asked.

"Ha, thats funny, I rule hell, so, yeah...nevermind, but they wanted confirmation on this whole plan. Well that and Zac needs a place on earth to stay where I can get hold of him, can you get that arranged and take care of him real quick, explain it all, you know, the highlights or whatever, I need to run and find Alex after I check up on the homefront."

I didn't really wait for an answer, I was doing this for God, he could do something to help me out. Who knew Zac would have gotten so stubborn. I grabbed Ramsey's arm and we ran out of the palace, meeting the same angel from before.

Hey buddy, you ran off in a hurry there earlier, whats up with you? How have you been?

"You know him Ser?" I asked.

He's Gabriel, he helped me out a lot before I got imprisoned.

"Hey, Ser it is great to see you, but we are having some heavenly problems. I will come visit you in Hell when you have gathered the last horseman," Gabriel said. He seemed concerned, but we were in kind of a hurry. We got to the gates and I opened up a portal and Ramsey and I went back to hell. 

"Did you have to encourage him like that?" I asked.

"Well, if I had been all on your side he wouldn't have gone for it."

"True."

Grief walked up just about then and said "Sir, I have located your other friend. He is in a very peculiar place. Shall I take you to him?"

"Sure, thanks Grief."

"He is frighteningly good at his job," Ramsey whispered in my ear. I chuckled a little bit as Grief opened a portal. We jumped through and came out on the other end facing Alex and an old man. 

"Grief! How good to see you again!" The old man said.

"Grief?" Alex asked.

"Again?" I asked.

"Good?" Ramsey asked.

"Ah good friend, they are here and we shall be off," Greif was grinning. 

"What the hell man, you've been coming down here and talking to him, for how long?" I asked Grief.

"Well, ever since we had one body," replied the old man. 

"What?" Ramsey said. 

"It can wait," I said.

"Wait, so you were in cahoots with a general from Hell this whole time, that's how you knew my friends were coming?" Alex turned to the old man. 

"You have cahoots?" I asked Grief.

"None of this is terribly important, just relax and lets all go back to Hell to talk it over," the old man said.

Grief and the old man jumped through the portal first, laughing with each other, leaving me, Ramsey and Alex standing in front of a huge portal, jaws open, and not being able to say anything.

"So where are we anyway?" Ramsey asked.

"Underwater," Alex responded.

"What?" 

Alex grinned.

We jumped through into Hell, to find Gabriel, an angry looking Zach, Valentine, Grief, Mary, the old man, and God sitting at the table. 

"This is the strangest group of people I've ever seen in my life. Hey, how did she get here?" I asked.

"I went and got her," Zac was scowling.

"Fine, go and get her."

"I already did." 

I took my seat next to Mary and Grief, Alex on the other side of the old man who was on the other side of Grief was sitting next to Ramsey and then God.

"Okay, I'm pressed for time," God started, "Look, Stewart, Alex, Ramsey, Zach, you four are the new horsemen of the apocalypse. Death, War, Famine and Pestilence. Good? Good. We are not quite ready for the impending doom, but the four of you need to learn how to function as a team." Zach scowled more as God continued, "We will have a few prep excersises and a few different challenges that I'm sure you will enjoy sent through Gabriel. So, I need to go, but Gabriel will stay with Zach on earth tonight, but until then, eat and enjoy. Goodbye." 

With the final word he vanished. That was really fucking cool. 

It was awkward at the table at first, everyone ate quietly. Then the old man and Grief started telling us stories about their past adventures and what they used to do, Gabriel and Grief are apparently good friends as well, as are Gabriel and the old man.

"I feel left out," Ramsey mouthed to me from across the table. Shortly after though, everyone was telling stories and joking around about things. No one felt any tension anymore. No one was stressed or upset. 

After a few rounds of stories Zac decided to leave. Gabriel opened a portal for Zac and Valentina. He said he would follow them later. 

The old man and Alex went into their room, Ramsey to his, leaving me, Grief, Gabriel, and Mary in the room. 

"Go on to bed Mary, I'll be in there in a minute," I told her.

"Okay," she said.

"Grief," I started, grabbing his arm before he could go into the hall, "I don't know how it really works down here, and I don't know what the protocol is or anything, but.."

"Yes, my lord?" 

"Take a vacation dude. You work really fucking hard, and you're good at your job. Seriously take a week."

"Thank you my lord."

"After that, could you find out how Hades is going?"

"Yes my lord."

"Okay, try and see the world some, it may not be around much longer to see. If you want, just have fun, kick back, do whatever. Do not feel obligated to do anything for us for a week or so. Is that cool? I can tell you to do that right?"

"Yes my lord," Grief said laughing a little bit, "it is much appreciated, Satan never let us have vacations. I'd say Hell is running a hell of a lot better now than it was."

"Thanks Grief, a lot of it is because of you. I haven't done much with it. Lot of Hell jokes today, where is a good Heaven joke?"

"Sir, you have done more than you know," with this he smiled and walked away. I turned to Gabriel.

What is troubling you friend?

"Well, there are problems in Heaven," he replied.

What do you mean? A coo? A rebellion? Corrupt people doing bad things?

"I'm afraid it is something like that. We don't know the specifics. Hades was just the first of many. Whoever is leading all this got Hades and the original four horsemen and God knows who else."

"Who then?" I asked.

"Who what?"

"Who, if God knows..."

"Its a saying."

"Ah, there's a Heaven joke."

"Anyway, we don't know who else is involved or what exactly they are planning. You need to be more careful. You should know better than to try to take on all four horsemen at the same time. If I hadn't stepped in with Death you would have been killed and we would have been fucked."

He didn't die via masturbation?

"No."

"Damn."

Gabriel told us what he could, then he left. After he left I went into the throne room and sat down in my chair. I looked out at the court, all the stuff that Mary and Grief have done. I walked out past the court and out onto the balcony. I looked out over Hell. It wasn't so bad. 

"Stewart..." Mary wrapped her arms around my stomach. I knew things would be alright. 

"I love you." I told her.

She kissed my shoulder and squeezed tighter.

The Greeter, The Cook and The Doctor Walk Into A Bar ... Part 75

"I see you finished the challenge ... I must admit, I am quite impressed you chose to continue on in your condition."


"My condition?"


"Yes. The wound and fatigue that you acquired from the first two challenges."


"Those were just puzzles. Puzzles are easy. This last room was a challenge. Seriously, where the hell did you find robots like that?" 


"They came with the place."


" ... but I thought you were the native people to this place."


"People, yes. Inhabitants, no."


"How the hell did you win against them and take over."


"That is a story for another time. How about we go look at that leg of yours."


With those words the memory of the wound in my calf struck like lightning into the back of my head exploding in a thunderous headache. My stance faltered but I managed to stay on my feet. The old man was holding me up with his cane under my armpit. I stabilized and he threw the cane at me and began to walk away with no falter in his step. I was severely confused but grabbed the cane before it hit my nose and started to walk through the doors. I was not surprised to find yet another long poorly lit hallway. The old man was greatly ahead of me and in an attempt to catch up I nearly slipped and fell several times due to the cane sliding around the floor. It appeared to be more of a harm then help. Maybe that's why the old man was constantly limping, cause of this crazy cane. Eventually I managed to learn to control the cane and quickly caught up to the old man.


We entered a small room filled with many utensils and gadgets and papers all scattered all over the place.


"What is this place?"


"This is my office. Now hop on a table somewhere, let's look at that leg of yours."


"Wait .... you're the doctor?"


"Yes."


"Since when are doctors also the greeters. Isn't there different people for that, and you could have helped me with the leg."


"Well I'm not only the doctor and the greeter, and I could have helped you with the leg, yes, but only here can I neutralize the poison flowing through your veins."


"Let me guess. You are also the cook?"


"Don't speak such nonsense. We no longer need such necessities."


I was confused and absolutely lost.


"... What are you?"


"Your guide, companion, doctor .... whatever you wish me to be."


"Ok, well currently you can be my doctor but please tell me more, I am still quite confused about the whole situation."


"We have been stuck in this abandoned city for hundreds of years. The gods were not happy with our advances as a society and trapped us under the weight of the ocean."


"You keep saying 'We'. What is that all about?"


"I hold the memories and knowledge of all of our people. We have roamed this underwater prison for years upon years but when people begun to die the gods weren't happy. They believed we needed a harsher punishment and imprisoned us all in this body and allowed us to only materialize within the main alcove. Through which you entered."


"So how are you here now?"


"You remember that card?"


"Yea the soul card, or whatever that was."


"That is the soul of this body. It is the most important card, it gives you the ability to call us whenever you desire and we will assist you in whichever way you require."


"Is there an appearance option. I don't have anything against the old guy but old is not really my style."


"We can delve deeper into that at a later time. Now lie down and relax your leg. I need to wash it, it might hurt. The wound has started to close and I still have to remove the little pieces of the arrow that you didn't take out. You could have at least filed it apart. There was no need in breaking the arrow."


"Well, it seemed to be a smart enough idea at the time."


"This smart idea of your will cause much pain to you now, but to bring you some comfort your friends are looking for you. They will be here shortly."


"How would you posses such information."


"Well, when the gods decided to punish us and trap us here, the underworld became quite interested in our state of affairs. You know them, they're also outcasts and like to keep tabs on possible allies and we aren't stupid enough not to keep in touch with personages of such influence."


"I see, you keep in touch with the leaders of the underworld."


"Not the leaders, just some of the higher ups. The leaders are busy entities."


"Is it alright with you if I take the cane, it's quite badass."


"Not at all. We have no use for this place now, we now constantly roam the void until you choose to call for us."


" Is there a way that I can just constantly have you around? The whole void thing doesn't sound very pleasant."


"We would be quite grateful if you chose to do that. We are not looking forward to our bleak existence in the void."


"You are welcome to go wherever you want outside here. We will find a way to communicate some time later."


The old man continued to work on my leg. I felt something thick flow through my veins and make it's way throughout my body.


"The poison is slowly dying. You will be back to normal in some time and we can use the accelerator to speed up the healing of the leg. It should be find by the time your friends arrive."

I'm way behind on the post count

So I'm thinking about starting to write and (poorly) draw a comic/graphic novel which will take place in a post apocalyptic society, with dragons. I just figure those are like two of the coolest ideas ever, so... I just imagine a bunch of bandit looking people riding around on dragons shooting at each other. Sounds fun, right?

-The Knight

So I've Got a Problem

I've got a problem. It's not a huge problem, but it is a problem none the less. As everyone knows, football is over for the season, and I've begun frantically looking for something to replace it. I've tried basketball, random TV shows, video games, even the Olympics, but nothing is filling the void in my life left by footballs absence. Okay so that was pretty melodramatic, but you get the point--I find that I'm simply bored, all the time. That being said, I bought Mass Effect 2 and Darksiders this weekend. I figure if anything will get me through what I will not start to call the Dark Months (the months without football) it will be baller video games like these. So far I have to say Mass Effect 2 is better. It, like Assassin's Creed 2, is so much better than the first. It's got all the good RPG elements, but now the combat is actually fun, and more than any other game I've played I'm interested in the plot of this game. Darksiders is a lot of fun, but it feels too much like God of War, which I guess isn't a bad thing since I don't have a PS3 and can't play the new one. Still, though, it's a lot of fun. I've also been playing a lot of Madden 10, but I think that's just to get the football back into my system. I guess I could start reading...

Anyway, I've got a bigger problem than this. My car is deathly ill, meaning I need a lot of money to either fix it or buy a new one. This means I need donations. I'm gonna set up a fund. Anything'll help, though in reality if you wanna give me like a thousand bucks that'll be more helpfull. Thanks.

-The Knight

Taco Taco

Top Men, Part 74

"So let me get this straight," I said. "We have to get Alex, and then start the Apocolypse?"

"Yup," Stewart said.

"Ahuh." I looked over toward Zach, where he was sitting in the corner, not looking at either of us. "Hey, Zach," I said. He didn't answer. "Does this sound crazy to you, too?"

"More than crazy."

"Yeah, me too. Hey, Zach?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what's stupid?"

"What?"

"Stewart and his stupid plan."

Zach laughed at this, but he never looked up at me. I wasn't sure what had happened between him and Stewart, but whatever it was had ruined their friendship, and it looked to be beyond my skills to repair. I was worried about him--he seemed sad, though I couldn't help thinking back to the loss I'd suffered, the pain I'd been through. What had happened to Zach to make him think he's the only one in the world to experience pain? I wanted to talk to him, away from Stewart, but that didn't seem like it was going to happen any time soon. Stewart was the lord of more than one domain, now, and despite all of our power Zach and I didn't have whole armies to control. Still, I felt like, if it came to it, we could take him. I hoped it didn't come to it, though.

"So I guess we have to go find Alex, now," I said.

"Yup," Stewart said. "And I know this seems crazy to both of you, but believe me--this is the way it has to be. We have to do this, or else, well, we just have to."

"Since when are you the one making the decisions?" Zach said. "Last time I checked you have a friggin demon in you so excuse me if I don't follow your every order, Massa."

The tension was palpable, it seemed to burn up and fill the air with smoke. "Why us?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

"Why?" Stewart repeated, and then smiled. "Because they need top men."

"Top men?" I asked.

"Top men."

"Ohhhh. Cause that makes sense. Anyway I think we shou--"

"Top men."

"Stop interrupt--"

"Top men."

"Goddamnit. You can't d--"

"Top men."

Goddamnit.


-The Knight