It's Only Fitting... Part 90

So out it comes. the most hideous thing ever






THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!!










^ (A message from the Russain. I thought I'd leave it in there since he posted it on my unfinished post. I completely didn't realize what i was saying at the time, but yes, it was a perfect setup.)


Anyway, its a bigass muthafuckin' badass muthafucka. As soon as it sees me it  dashes out of the water onto the beach and charges me at breakneck speeds. It's a giant fucking crocodile. WTF is this? Before I know it its on top of me. As it opens its mouth to swallow me whole I take my unsheathed sword and slap its face with it as hard as i can. This slams it to the ground. Then I realize i just made it angry. It takes another bite at me. I dodge it just barely and I'm able to slam my sword into its side, sending him rolling over. Taking advantage of the obvious I jump into the air and stab its stomach with my sword. Nothing...


"What the fuck is this shit? The underbelly is always the weak part!"


In the blink of an eye the giant croc bites my leg and slings me into the air. As I fall back i realize it intends to try to swallow me whole so I shove my sword as deep into its throat as possible. Its jaws snap shut but through the pain I'm able to choke it with my sword.


As I leave its mouth I realize that it'd been so long I forgot how good it felt. Beating the shit out of things. It's good to feel useful again. Time for a shower with some hot bitches.


After we leave the shower I turn on the TV. So shitty SyFy movie is on so I change the channel. I change the channel again. As I'm flipping through I realize all the channels are the same.


"Fuck this shit. Let's play Marvel VS Capcom 3."


"Um... I think there are some more important things we should be doing right now, Zac."


"Like what?"


"Are you not paying attention to the emergency broadcast on TV?"



"Hell no. Who gives a shit about that? Not like its gonna affect me."


"Just look."


As I look at the "Imma make you miss your favorite show" broadcast I realize that whatever happened today at my beach is happening... Everywhere. Its like some Godzilla shit. Looks like Imma have some more fun this week. Fuck yeah.


Suddenly I hear my cell phone ringing. I look at the caller ID and... It's Stewart.


"The hell?"


Dr. Orange