Okay so maybe I'm taking it too far...

But I'm having fun. Remember Castle Crashers? I do.
Yeah I know. I'm just bored.










-The Knight

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK

http://www.80stees.com/products/Logo-Deadpool-T-Shirt.asp

I love it.

I love DP. He's so dreamy....

"I've Been Around for Ages, But I'm Terrified of You." Part 29

I could have sworn I heard someone call my name. As a matter of fact, I know I did. But I can't seem to find them. Oh well. It's daybreak. And I'm not really feeling like going back to Valentina's place. There's got to be some way to avoid the blood sucking without... you know... I have my duties to Maria. I wonder if Maria is alright...

Oh well, If It's gonna be my new home, I can't be afraid to be in it. I've got to face her. Let her know what the deal is. I'm spoken for.

I walk back to the crib. Wow, the mob fixed this place up fast. I was only gone a couple hours. The door is locked. Really? Ok, I'll walk through, then. Up the stairs. Into Valentina's room. She's not there anymore? Duh, she isn't there. She'd get fried by the sun.

Back down the stairs. To the basement. A little creepy I must admit.

"Um... Valentina?"

"Yes?"

"Just wondering where you were. I hope I didn't ruin your sleep or anything. I really need to talk to you."

"What is it, love?"

"Well. That's just it. Don't get me wrong. I've been getting the message. I'm not a complete idiot. I'd jump at a chance to be with you, but I'm taken... In a complicated kind of way."

"So that's it?"

She steps forward a little. My eyes have adjusted to the dark enough to see her face staring at me. Those deep red eyes stab at my heart.

"Well, don't worry, Zac. I won't tell her you did anything with me. I'll be sure to tell her it was strictly business between the two of us."

"Well, I'm not necessarily worried about her finding out as much as the fact that I have a moral code that forbids this. I'm a hero. A hero has to be as faultless as he can."

"Oh, so that's it? Well, aren't heroes supposed to save people? Well, I need saving from the thirst. Love can do that for me."

"Why my love? Why not someone else's?"

"Because I chose you. And that's the only way. And you have no choice."

She grabbed me and pinned me to the ground. Damn she's strong. But so am I.

"Don't resist. I might slip and bite you, and that's the end of you hero journey now isn't it?"

Why are my powers not working? Why am I not dissolving into nothingness and out of her grasp? Why aren't my limbs working at all? I will never live this down. I am about to be raped. It makes no difference that it was a girl or a vampire. I'm about to be raped. Alex can not hear about this.

Hours later we wake up. It was time to hunt.

"Wasn't so bad, huh?"

She just patted me on the head. I feel like a little bitch. I'm a little frightened bitch.

"Let's get to work."

We stake out the deepest darkest part of town. We see many different people walk by, waiting for a vampire to swoop by. That's not how it happened. Instead, a innocent looking old woman was walking down the street and Valentina darted down and pile drived her into the pavement. Frantic, I jump down and hold back Valentina.

"What the hell are you doing to her!?!"

"Chill. She's a vampire."

I turned around to see a very pissed very evil granny staring me in the face. I manage to turn my body intangible just before she got me, and Valentina was on the other side with a sucker punch that was out of this world. She hit that granny so hard her neck snapped. I relieved the evil granny vamp of its arms and legs and pinned its body to the ground with my sword.

"Who's your leader? Where is he? How many of you are there?"

"I'm not telling you shit. Go ahead. Do your worst to me. What can you do that hasn't already been done? I'm not going to snitch."

She was right. There wasn't much I could do to get her to talk. At least not with my current armaments.

"Valentina, take her to the church. We'll just torture her until she gives us our info."

"She wouldn't do it to one of your own. She can't. She will feel it too. I know she's a vampire just like me."

"But she hasn't drank blood. Therefore she's pure. Therefore she's church approved. Haha."

After a couple minutes the vampire pretty much broke. She told us all she knew. Who the godvampire or whatever you would call it was. Where she had been living. Where the group she belonged to would be meeting that night. Lots of useful stuff. Just no actual whereabouts as to where the godvamp lived.

After we got all the info we could out of her, we cut off her head. Then we grabbed tons of crosses lying around the church and packed them up. Then we left.

Within a couple minutes we were at the vampires' meeting place. Within a couple more minutes, we were in the middle of them fighting. A couple minute after that, we were the only ones left standing. Those crosses came in handy for Valentina, but we're going to have to work on her weapons/fighting because as of now she is pretty evenly matched with all the other vampires. Anyway, It's time to leave. This was a long night. Back to the basement before the sun starts to peak over the horizon. Everything is terrible. I feel awful. Not only because of what I know is in store for me when we get back, but also because I know that something even worse is coming. Remember that "godvamp" I mentioned earlier? His name is Dracula.

Dr. Orange

Ramseys Pic Edits.

Some edits for the 4 horsemen gif.

I ran into that rabbit hole....Vertically... Part 28

Okay, so Alex is gone. We are in Moscow now and I need to go back home. We need to check on things.

Mary and I were walking out of the Mafia Underboss's house as we saw Zach.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, forgetting for a moment what we were doing, "Thats Zaaa.............. oh.." Then we got the hell out before he saw us. We got to the airport, had all our luggage ready and started back to Alabama. God dammit, we've been gone for a little over a month and a week and who knows what all has happened in our absence.

Our flight landed and as we were getting off a creepy old hag walked up and said "Beware the Walker in the Eye. Beware the Catcher of Souls. Watch for thyself is becoming old, your mind is special, your body is evil, bring about what you will but know your father comes in search."

"Okay crazy lady, someone needs to take her pills." I said walking back to Mary.

"What was that about?" Mary asked.

Before I could say I didn't know, Ser cut in.

Stewart is the son of Satan. Fucking hell, I've been trying not to tell him about that. Thats why I inhabited his body.

"It wasn't because I was cool?" I was hurt...

No, you were the only person who could release me from my prison.

"Wait, so now Satan wants us too?" Mary was starting to freak out.

Erm...he likes sending old hags to forbode stuff.....

"Wait, if I'm his son, then why is he gonna kill me?"

You pose a threat. A massive threat. With me especially. He and I had a kind of disagreement shortly before Michael sealed me off. Thats why he was able to.

"Wait, so you were more powerful than before you got in a fight with Satan?" I asked.

Yes.

"Holy shit..." said Mary.

We left the airport and went into Birmingham. When we were about five minutes out of town we saw a large cloud over the city. The tallest of the four buildings on the skyline was inside of it.

He's here. And he wants a fight.

"Oh fuck, well I do love a good fight." I retorted.

I told Mary to keep driving the car and to turn around and gave her an address to go to when she turned around. I told her to call Alex and get him to get Ramsey and to come back to Birmingham ASAP. We have a fight with the Devil and I can't do this by myself. But I have to start alone.

Its a big enough city that I wont even know when they arrive here. I climbed out the window of the car, stood on the hood, and jumped off, turning her car in the opposite direction and launching me into the cloud.

Two curved swords appeared in my hands, tentacle like arms grew out of my sides, and a black armor curved all the way around my body. The only part of me that was still visible was my red eye. What the hell was up with that? Anyway, I launched into the city and saw a horde of demons. Thats right, a mother fucking horde.

Never a dull moment... Well, the first few hundred were easy kills with my blades, but that gets boring after a while. I grabbed a few with my tentacles and ripped them apart. Then I decided to lose the tentacles and go straight for the hand to hand combat.

Striking first is fun, but its more fun to let your enemy try and hit you, block it, then parry the attack. I did this for a while. God damn there were too many of these guys.

"Yo, Ser, do I get experience or am I just wasting my time?" I asked while chopping off a demons head.

Waste of time. We need to find him. He is somewhere in that cloud.

"I love it." I yelled as I jumped in the cloud.

The cloud was like another city, there was a lot of space, more space than there should have been.

I just jumped into a labrynth... Oh fuck....

Just stumbled this...

This would be perfect if the second from the left was orange... Sorry Doctor.

Also, it's a GIF so it's supposed to move. Here's the link: http://paulrobertson.mechafetus.com/4horsemen.gif



-The Knight

Buckyballs!

I'm bored, I'm tired of studying for my AP Physics Final, and I'm waiting for the Green Guy's post. By the way, my good friend the Green Guy just introduced me to BuckyBalls. Wow. I know, I'm slow, but goodness gracious, those things look awesome. I think I'm gonna order some. I mean, come on, who could resist "an Erector Set that never stops erecting"? Yes, I kid you not, they wrote that on an advertisement. If you don't believe me: http://getbuckyballs.com/. I've got proof.

Until next time,

Dr. Orange

We Passed a Field of Sunflowers and I Almost Lost Him .... Part 27

"You must follow him."
"What?"
"You must follow him, he is a viable treat. That slice was no funny business, I almost died."
"..."
"Take a suitcase with the money I got from the mob house and Ser will take care of a disguise for you."
"I can't believe this."

I knew he was paranoid, but not this paranoid. That little escapade really did shake him up. I knew I didn't have much time and began to pack money into the case. I don't know how much I managed to fit but I'm quite sure I will be able to buy whatever I might need.

I left a note to remind him of the safe house we had agreed upon earlier. He'll probably forget but I don't remember it being too difficult getting in touch with him

Trailing Ramsey proved to be fairly easy with the disguise. No need for the customary distance policies.

We spent a couple of days making our way south before anything really happened. Even with his minimal attire he manages to cover the sword very well.

The moment he pulled out the sword .... time paused, I did not know how to react but I also did not notice the enormous old man. The fight seemed instantaneous, but the aftermath stayed around for awhile.

Wait where's my suitcase, shit .... I snapped back to reality to see Ramsey and a girl crippling towards me. I dashed to the bus stop and pretended to be sleeping and waiting for the bus. I waited until they rounded the corner, grabbed my case and began following.

On the Road Again. Part 26

Goddamnit. I hate it when Stewart gets his so called “Bright Ideas.” There’s no way I can convince him not to do this—there’s no way I can tell him I don’t want any part of it. He doesn’t get it—he may be indestructible now but me and Alex are just as fragile as ever. Even with the powers this sword gives me I’m breakable. I haven’t figured them all out, how to use them, and every now and then a flash of my uncle’s extended memory explodes into my head, causing me to be nauseous. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to follow Stewart into the Mafia’s base and kill a bunch of people, innocent or not. And I definitely don’t want to hurt Zach, wherever he is—I need to talk to him.

Whatever part of me that wanted to know information about my uncle knew my best bet was to stay with Ser and Stewart, but they were going down a road I wasn’t interested in. But what about Alex? He seemed to be an innocent bystander in all of this.

“What’s on your mind?” Stewart asked.

“Oh, me? Nothing?”

“You were staring off into space for like twenty minutes, dude,” Alex broke in.

“It’s just… I can’t stay with you guys.”

“What?!” Stewart said. “Why not?”

“I want to go, and I want answers, but I’ve got a feeling in my gut, I think it’s from the sword. It’s pulling me in another direction, and I don’t think I should ignore it.”

“That feeling is that of the demon-hunters,” Ser said. “It pulls you toward the closest demons.”

“Why aren’t I pulled to you, then?” I asked.

“Because I have long since learned to mask my presence.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well good for you.”

“You’re really gonna go, even after we just met up?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I have to,” I said. “I’ll be back before you know it. I continued to avoid Stewart’s gaze, but for different reasons now. One, I wasn’t sure just how powerful Ser was, and I didn’t want Stewart to know I didn’t want to go with him. Also, I thought that if I looked in his eyes he be able to convince me to go, and I really didn’t want to.

“Fine,” Stewart said. “Go.”

“What if he joins with Zach?” Ser said, his voice cold and angry.

“I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Goodbye. I’ll see you all soon.” And I was off. I realized when I got outside of Ser’s protective circle that I still wasn’t properly dressed for the cold. All I had was a red leather jacket and jeans, but I refused to let the cold get to me. I followed the pull of the demon to the south. It was odd. I was remembering something Stewart said, how just weeks ago I didn’t even know magic was real, but now I was fighting Demons and vampires and whatever else. I was taking it all pretty well, I thought, but that was mostly because of my uncle’s presence. He made me feel stronger.

It wasn’t long before I found the demon. This one was possessing a large bald man, his eyes were red like fire and his hands rounded like claws. He was at least eight feet tall, built like a ton of bricks and angry. He was holding up a girl who looked to be about my age—tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous. I couldn’t let him do anything wrong to her, but they were so far away…

I knew what to do. Before I knew it the sword was out of its scabbard on my back and its tip was pointed in the direction of the demon. I pushed the power in me forward and it exploded in a burst of white plasma toward them both. It exploded on the man, melting away at his skin and revealing a red-furred, horned demon who was even taller than the man before. He dropped the girl, who screamed, and he started toward me. He was steaming from my attack and looked to be in pain. I wanted to make it worse. As he approached I jumped and flipped in the air, bringing the sword around in a high arch. I landed on his back and in one fluid motion stabbed the sword into the back of his neck, cracking his spine. I felt the body go limp beneath me, and I felt a power surge in me like nothing I’d ever felt before. I knew that as I became more in synch with my uncle I would grow more and more powerful. The demon lay dead beneath me, its tongue lolling out of its mouth. The girl was curled up and crying on the street. She wore a loose blue dress which hung off her in folds.

I approached her and said in my softest voice, “You look cold. Come with me.”

She looked up, tears filling eyes which were as big as moons, and blue. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. She was weak, but I supported her with my arm around her waist. We made it to the nearest bar, where I ordered two drinks. She spoke for the first time.

“Thanks.” She didn’t look at me.

“It’s no problem. You alright?”

“Yeah I think so.”

“What’s your name?” I asked. “Mine’s Ramsey.”

“That’s a nice name,” she said. She spoke perfect English, although she did have a strong Russian accent. “I’m Adrienne.”



-The Knight

Headhunters. Part 25

Sorry this post is so long. The Green Guy made a huge jump in the story so I have to play catchup.

When we last left our hero he was trying to decide whether or not he should try to reason with this soon to be vampire. His time for decision-making is up. Lets see what happens now...

It's been a few minutes, and I've decided to try the friend approach, since I've made more than enough enemies as of late. She suddenly snatches back up, alive and alert.

I wave at her sheepishly. "Hey. How's it going?"

She just gave me a stone cold stare. Then she glanced around the room, slowly remembering what had happened. I take this moment to pull out my trusty laptop and connect to her WiFi. Google Translator. I really hope this works. I type her messages to read.

"Are you alright? You're parents were just murdered..."

"I'm not grieving anymore. It's time for vengeance."

She tries to take off. I grab her leg before she can get out of the window and bring her back down.

"Whoa. Hold it there. Ok, vengeance. I'm all for that. Obviously, your mom and dad were in the mafia, right? I mean, why else would they have a house this huge? The question is why did a vampire just swoop in and kill them?"

"It's a turf war. Vampires VS the Russian mob."

"So you're a vampire now and you're gonna side with them?"

"No. I'm going to kill every single vampire in Moscow."

"Whoa. Alright. How about this then. I need money bad. I need food bad. I don't want to hurt anybody innocent if I can help it. So... How about we form a vampire killing team and get a job from the mob. We can go about this business of avenging your parent's death and we can live respectably at the same time. Deal?"

She thought for a moment. I like this chick. She's got a head on her shoulders. No no no. Maria. Maria's my girl. Anyway, the vampire chick decides.

"Ok, deal."

"Cool. The name's Zac by the way. I'm American, and I'll fill you in on the reason I'm here later. And your name is..."

"Valentina."

"Ok, Valentina. I can understand Russian, but I can't speak it. Do you know any English whatsoever?"

"Yes. I speak it pretty well. And I understand the bulk of it. I took English classes for the past few years."

"Great. Let me put this computer up then. And lets go."

She said she needed to take another shower to get the blood off of her. I decided to avoid any confrontation I would wait in the living room. I turned on the news. Something about a massacre today. A heavy hitter along in the mob was murdered along with everyone else in and around his house. Stewart. Well at least I know he's still here...

"You ready?"

Valentina finally walks back out in a really sexy black outfit. Damn. She isn't making this easy.

"Huh?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"Oh yeah. Yeah lets go."

"Good."

She swoops towards me and grabs my hands and flies back out of the window, carrying away. To the mafia!

We get there and decide to make a dramatic entrance. I slip in all invisible and walk through the walls into the room where the godfather was. She seeps in as a red mist through the vents. We appear in the middle of the room. Everyone is startled. They shoot. We evade and disarm. Within seconds, the room is once again silent.

"I think you should here what we have to say, Godfather."

"Of course. I know when I'm out gunned. Lets hear it."

"I've noticed you have a vampire problem. We're here to fix it. You pay us $500,000 by the head (and I do mean the head), as well as provide food and housing, and we'll take care of your problem."

"... What did he say?"

Huh? Oh yeah... She translated for me. I keep forgetting about that...

"Ahh... And what about you, vampire? You look familiar..."

"It's me, Godfather, Valentina. My family was killed just hours ago by the vampires and I have been transformed, but my loyalty still lies with you."

"Very well. For these services, I will pay you very well. The vampires are becoming a much larger thorn in my side than I had initially believed."

"Good. Here's the first head."

I toss the vampire's head on the ground in front of him.

"My underlings will pay you for your troubles. Thank you Mr...."

"Zac. Just Zac."

"Very well, Zac. Valentina. I will be seeing much more of the two of you. You will take over Valentina's household in wake of her parents' death. This won't be a problem will it?"

"On the contrary. It's a great idea."

"Well then. Some of my people will assist in cleaning up the place. In the meantime, there's your money. Perhaps you should go eat and prepare for more headhunting."

Well, here we go. First, I need to eat. But what about Valentina...

We leave.

"So... um... what're you going to do about eating? You know, 'the thirst'?"

"I will have to feed to survive. However, I haven't felt the thirst yet. Perhaps I have time. But they say that the love of another can quench the thirst..."

"... You don't say? Well here's your half I'm off to grab a bite to eat. Um... I'll meet you back at the house after I grab some food."

We take off on our separate ways. She glanced back, and saw I was already gone. Then she flew back towards the house. Then I return to the visible spectrum of light. Damn. I really want to help her, but I've got my own loyalties...

Dr. Orange